Oddball Films and curator Kat Shuchter bring you Learn Your Lesson...On Wheels - Shockucational Traffic School, the fifth in a series of programs highlighting the most ridiculous, insane and camptastic shockucational films and TV specials of the collection. This time we're strapping on our skates, hopping on our bikes and riding the bus to safetyville with a few dozen crashes along the way! Monkeying around on your bicycle has never been more deadly than for the 10 chimp-masked children heading to a picnic but not following the rules of the road in the legendary One Got Fat (1963). In the charmingly bizarre Bus Nut (1980), little pre-teen Bobbie's got one thing on her mind - bus safety - and she's got the T-shirt to prove it! Fast girls and fast cars add up to a speedy death in the melodramatic Last Prom (1973). Pre-teens (in an overload of neon) rap about safe cycling in the Triaminic sponsored musicalamity Bicycle Safety Camp (1991, Video). It's about time your learned to Rollerskate Safely (1981); a jammin' early-80's time capsule made in the heyday of the rollerskating craze. In Safety Belt for Susie (1962), a doll without a seat belt doesn't fare so well after an accident, and doll parts get flung to the four-winds! Plus, with so much to choose from, we'll be multi-projecting antique crash footage with clips from Afterschool Specials and safety films. Clips include: Scott Baio in All the Kids Do It (1984), Alco Beat (1965), Gambling with Death (1925), Not So Easy (1973) starring Evel Knievel and Peter Fonda, Highway Mania (1942) and more! With vintage trailers and the supernatural romance Ghost Rider (1982) for the early birds, learning about safety was never this much fun! 
Date: Friday, July 12th, 2013 at 8:00pm
Venue: Oddball Films, 275 Capp Street San Francisco
Featuring:
One Got Fat (Color, 1963)
Bizarre/legendary bike safety film- 10 young cyclists acting like monkeys (wearing masks and tails!) head to a city park for a picnic. 9 out of 10 makes a bonehead mistake and suffers a major accident- all but one, who reaches the park and... Here’s how a few of the characters meet their demise:
1.Tinkerbell ("Tink") McDillinfiddy forgets to watch out for a stop sign, and is hit by a large truck.
2. Phillip ("Floog") Floogle rides on the left...POW!
3. Mossby Pomegranate’s bike is stolen, police can’t find it because it wasn't registered, as a result of running between one and nine blocks, his feet arches collapse.
4. Slim Jim ("Slim") Maguffny and Trigby Phipps ride double, due to Trigby's lack of vision because of Slim blocking his head, he steers right into an open manhole covering. Find out Friday the fate of the others!
Bus Nut (Color, 1980)
Bobbie’s not like the other kids on her morning school bus. For them it’s just a ride, for her it’s the first step on the path of a life devoted to transportation safety. It’s okay with her parents and pleases professional bus driver Mrs. Harrison, too. This study of youthful obsession is not just a clever guise for a school safety primer, it’s a reminder that some fixations start very early. Co-starring the color yellow.
Bicycle Safety Camp (Color, 1991, Video)
"Strap it on, Rebop! Wear your helmet with pride!"
This early 90s rapping bike safety video will have you scratching your head and tapping your feet. With insane neon costuming, ridiculous "characters," awful dialogue, over-the-top pre-teen performaces and brain-boiling safety rapping! Join Boomer, Rebop (who went on to Prayer of the Rollerboys) and the rest of this motley crew as they learn the rules of the road and how "ride safe and love it!"
The Last Prom (Color, 1973)
Pristine print of this all-time classic scare film. Shot in 1973, but looks and sounds like the late 1950’s as these hot-blooded teens live and drive too fast: sex=death. So good it was remade in 1980 (replacing the necking and bad driving with dui).
A hilarious early 1980's time capsule, made shortly after Rollerboogie and Xanadu hit the big screen, for all the kids that wanted to be Linda Blair, ONJ and Michael Beck. All you need to know and more about the old 4-wheel roller-skates, with lots of great footage from the Venice Beach boardwalk and trick sites. Don’t miss the skate team in their early 80s matching outfits!
Safety Belt For Susie (Color, 1962)
A child’s innocent plaything turns
into a creepy, almost supernatural entity. Little Nancy Norwood who takes her
life-sized doll, Susie, everywhere with her. But when Mr. Norwood ploughs the
family car into a tree, poor Susie gets smashed to pieces because she wasn’t
wearing a safety belt. There’s lots of crash test footage, with baby dolls flying
wildly through windshields and into dashboards, after which the camera lovingly
dwells on the severed plastic arms and legs lying on the asphalt. An eerie and
effective Driver’s Ed film, shown to unsuspecting kids in the early sixties
(when seatbelts were optional equipment in cars).
Plus! Clips Galore and Multi-Projection car crashes!
Excerpts from two ABC Afterschool Specials: The Terrible Secret and All the Kids Do It with Scott Baio as well as other clips from:
Gambling With Death (B+W, 1925)
Produced by the Illinois Central Gulf Railroad, this early driver safety film shows some horrific crashes as drivers attempt to “beat the train”. The train always wins.
Produced by the Illinois Central Gulf Railroad, this early driver safety film shows some horrific crashes as drivers attempt to “beat the train”. The train always wins.
Alco Beat (Color, 1965)See what happens when test subjects are loaded up on booze and let loose behind the wheel on a test course!
Highway Mania (1942, B+W)
The public is the loser in
this over-the-top safety film, produced by the Commercial Department of Pathé
News is a record of driving, new highways, cars and “rules of the road” from
the 1930s to the early 1940s. The premise of the film is that an average driver
can become a murderous maniac and “motoring” is essentially a sport. Hilarious
examples of wreckless driving in both rural and urban environments are
juxtaposed with are early traffic safety “Do’s and Don’ts”.
Not So Easy (Color, 1973)
Starring Peter Fonda and Evel Knievel, this motorcycle safety film aims to show you that even for the star of Easy Rider, driving a motorcycle is “not so easy.” Knievel contributes a few words in support of safety, and then proceeds to demonstrate his signature tricks. Filled with plenty of long shots of Fonda riding down the California coast, this short is better suited to showcasing Fonda’s effortless cool than it is to safety.
And For the Early Birds:
Ghost Rider (Color, 1982)
This school bus safety film has developed a cult following for its unusual (for an educational film) supernatural/love interest plot: Kevin (Doug Edmunds) is the sad and lonely new kid in town. After enduring his first day of junior high school, Kevin is befriended on the bus ride home by a sweet girl (Wendy Taylor) who offers him a sympathetic ear. She drops her pencil and Kevin picks it up, only to find that the girl has vanished. Her name is inscribed on the pencil – Tracy Donnelly.
The next time Kevin sees Tracy on the bus, she gives him a bus safety manual and begs him to read it. The other kids wonder who he’s talking to. Then Kevin finds out that Tracy is a ghost. She died in a bus accident, and what’s more, she used to live in the same house as Kevin…
Trivia: Actor Doug Edmunds went on to co-found the 90s powerpop band the Gladhands.